


No One Gets Left Behind

by anemic_cinema



Series: World's End Boyfriend [21]
Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood, F/F, Guilt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 08:32:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2102619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemic_cinema/pseuds/anemic_cinema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: No queers after the zombie apocalypse? I don't think so.</p><p>Rick makes a decision that could ruin everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One Gets Left Behind

The little girl had fallen asleep curled up on her cot, curled up tight and snailish, holding onto Daryl's hand. No one had had to ask him to stay. Some things were known through instinct, and Daryl was good at following that. Sophia's hand was hot and getting a little sweaty in his, but he didn't let go. She'd let go when she was ready. 

The tent flaps opened and Carol stepped in. She handed him the mug of tea she'd procured from the RV. Daryl took a sip, trying not to let on how much he disliked the flavor of it. It tasted like wet grass and bitter dirt to him. But Carol had offered, and it seemed like something he shouldn't turn down.

“Thank God she's sleeping.” Carol sighed quietly as she sat down. “She has a hard time getting to sleep most nights.”

Daryl nodded. If he had to guess, everyone else had the same problem as well. Hell, he couldn't count the nights where Glenn and him laid silently awake, clutching onto each other. They didn't speak of it, but it was for the same reason. It's hard to fall asleep when you're not sure what will happen once you wake up. Some nights were better than others, and at least they could hold on to each other. Sophia 's hand tightened around Daryl's. He squeezed it back. 

“You know, she actually asked me a few days back if I could get married to you so you could be her father.” Carol rolled her mug in her hands, looking down at it with a slight smile. The hot liquid caught in Daryl's throat. “I told her that I couldn't because you were already with someone. She said she knew that, but that maybe we could anyways and you could just stay with Glenn.”

“She's got some funny ideas that one.” Daryl mumbled. His tongue ached from the heat of the water. 

“Yeah. Always has.” Carol smiled just a little. 

“Looks like she ain't givin' me much of a choice, on bein'-” Daryl didn't want to say it out loud because it sounded absolutely ridiculous to him. 

“What are you going to do?” Carol looked at him. She was like Glenn. She could see past all the bullshit and not give him any space in which to hide. Daryl wasn't used to people like that in his life. He used to think that if anyone could see through to who he was, whatever that was, he'd have to push them away. At this rate, Daryl was going to have to figure out just what kind of person he was, and soon. 

“Do what I gotta to keep this one safe and sound I suppose.” He looked at the child. Her grip was relaxing as she went deeper into sleep. “Don't know how the hell I'm gonna do it.” 

“Nobody knows how to be a parent until they have to do it. I sure as hell didn't.” Carol drank from her cup. “But I figured it out. If I could, you can.”

“Yer smarter than me.” Muttered Daryl, and Carol gave him one of those looks that told him to shut up with that kind of talk. 

“You'll figure it out Daryl. You'll do it for her sake. If you could figure it out for Glenn, you can do it for her.” She smiled at him, and he found that he was comfortable with it for once. “I've seen the way you treat him. I've seen the way you treat her. You're a good man, even if you're not about to admit it to yourself.” 

The tent flaps rustled again, and Lori stuck her head in. “Daryl I need your help.” She saw the sleeping child and lowered her voice. “Someone needs to go out and look for Rick and the others. It's been way too long.” She paused, as if she was expecting Daryl to say something. He didn't. “I mean, Glenn's out there with them. I'm surprised you're not out there already.”

Daryl winced. He'd been growing worried as well, but all he could do was keep telling himself that Glenn could handle himself. The younger man was a lot more capable than he looked. That he would be fine. That any minute now they'd be driving back up. “I ain't yer errand boy. If yer so damn concerned, go look for them yerself.” 

“But-”

“Rick can handle himself. So can Glenn.” Carol spoke up. “Besides, what good would it do to run off in the dark?”

Lori glared at her and left them. Daryl nodded at Carol in admiration. “Standin' up to the queen of the camp huh?” 

She shrugged. “Figured it was time I started.” 

**

Rick couldn't do it. There was something deeply wrong about even the idea of leaving the boy and Merle behind. When he'd yanked the kid's leg off the spike, there had been some doubt. Hershel had said that he might not be able to help him. And then Merle showed up. The look in his eyes told Rick that he remembered exactly how he'd been left behind, and that look made it so that the former deputy could not leave him behind again. When he'd hollered at him to get in the damn car, Rick had seen the panic in Glenn's face, but there were things to be weighed. Was it worth leaving someone to die just for someone else's comfort? 

The drive back was noisier than the drive to town. Hershel and Glenn were in the back, trying to keep that poor kid from bleeding to death. Besides him though, Merle was silent. He just kept looking ahead, eyes trained on the road. Rick's eyes darted back and forth from the road, the mirror to see what the hell they were doing in the back, and the ghost that was now riding with them. 

Merle looked the same as when they'd left him, except now he had a prosthetic blade where his hand had been. The blood on it looked black in the darkness of the car.

“Don't worry, it ain't walker blood.” The ghost said with a grin, looking at Rick. He sounded like he was explaining away a ketchup stain on a shirt. “The kid'll tell ya. If it hadn't been for me his ass woulda been chop suey.” His voice was croakier than Rick remembered, and Merle's words disintegrated into a coughing fit. “I sure do hope y'all have water wherever it is we're goin'.”

Glenn didn't say anything. Instead he pressed against the stranger's bleeding wound harder. The stranger's whimpers and cries were the driving soundtrack now, but that didn't phase Glenn. He was too busy trying not to throw up. Merle's presence made a cringing fear grow inside of him, leaving him hollow and without hope. 

With him back, nothing good could happen, and the good things that had happened would be washed away.

**

Daryl had rushed out to meet the returning car. He expected to see Glenn hauling back Hershel triumphantly. He expected to be able to take him in his arms and kiss him for doing a good job. Seeing his brother was not what he expected. Neither was the wilting sensation that it brought.

Since coming to the farm and finding Sophia, he'd felt like there was a garden growing inside of him. It hurt a lot of the time, but it was alive. It was something small, with tiny sprouting things, but growing still. It grew when Sophia looked up at him and talked to him like she needed him. It grew when he woke up in the morning and saw that Glenn was still in his arms. It grew when Andrea or Carol or even T-Dog spoke to him like he was a worthy friend. When he saw Merle, he felt those little sprouts wither and the soil turn hard.

Everything he'd cultivated on his own started to die when he saw his brother, and in it's place the he felt the way it used to be. Hollow, comfortable, familiar. It was a low level of anxiety that he'd never noticed until it was gone. Now it was back and Merle's eyes on him made him freeze. 

“Surprised they haven't left you behind yet.” His brother wheezed out as he hobbled towards him. Behind him Glenn and Hershel were carrying someone inside of the house. Daryl reached out instinctively and caught Merle as his knees buckled a little. “Jesus fuck I'm thirsty.” 

“Bring him to the house.” Hershel shouted, and Daryl obeyed. 

'See how easy it is?' A small voice that Daryl had gotten used to not being there. It surprised him even though it was familiar. Merle dragged his feet up the stairs, but his brother hauled him up. Hershel took the kid into the room where Daryl had stayed, and Merle was taken to the couch. He wasn't injured, the blood on him wasn't his. Maggie brought him water. He leered at her a tiny bit when she gave him the glass and the jug, and it made Daryl grit his teeth and clench his fists. He didn't say anything, and that made him angrier. 

“Not bad here.” Merle chuckled between swallows of water. “Better than where I been anyways.”

“The fuck happened to you.” Daryl managed to get out. 

“Long fuckin' story little brother. Need t'piss first.” He hauled himself up with wobbling steps. “Where's the toilet?” 

“First door by the steps.” Daryl pointed. As soon as his brother closed the door he was up and rushing to the guest room. Maggie had brought him the medical equipment he needed to sedate the kid while he worked on his leg. It looked bad when Daryl saw it, just stringy pulsating flesh. Glenn was finishing cutting off the stranger's pants when he looked up and saw Daryl. 

Maggie patted his shoulder. “I'll take over. Thanks.” 

“No problem.” Glenn took the ruined pants with him and walked out of the room, not saying anything to Daryl. The older man followed. He was going to have to rinse off the blood before throwing them out. 

“What the hell happened out there?” Daryl asked as Glenn turned on the spigot on the side of the house. 

“A goddamn clusterfuck. We got jumped by some people with guns. Rick shot two of their guys so they tried to kill us. Your brother killed one of them.” Glenn exhaled. “I choked. I had a gun and I couldn't defend myself against those guys. If Merle hadn't killed the one that was shooting at me...It's sick but for a second I was actually happy to see him.” His eyes looked too wet when he looked up at the older man, and Daryl pulled him into a hug.

“I choked.” Glenn mumbled, trying to control the hiccup that was crawling into his throat. “I was useless out there.”

“No, baby, you weren't. You had guys shootin' at you. That shit's worse than walkers.” Daryl stroked his cheek. “You did the best you could.”

“Some best.” Glenn looked at Daryl. “You wouldn't have had that problem.” 

“Daryl? You out there?” The sound of Merle's voice coming from an open window made Daryl jump back. Glenn turned off the spigot and squeezed the bloody water from the pants. 

“I gotta...I'll meet ya at the tent, ok?” Daryl didn't like the sound of his own voice. It sounded too unsure. 

“Yeah.” Glenn watched him run back toward the house and towards his brother. How easy it was to slip back into old habits. He dumped the pants in the trash can, and walked away. It was a good thing Maggie had taken over. It gave him more time to collect his things from Daryl's tent, just in case. 

The word was spreading quickly. Rick had brought back Hershel as well as an injured young man who had shot at them, and Merle. A kind of humming anxiety was settling over everyone, making it so no one was wondering where Lori had gone to, and why she was still gone. Daryl was too preoccupied with tending to his brother, but Carol knew, and was worried. As Rick had pulled up she'd planned on telling him that his wife had gone to look for him, but in the confusion didn't get a chance. 

So instead, she went to Andrea. 

**

Lori was limping back towards the farm, humiliated, but alive. Her hands still shook from the accident and the walker, and her mind shook just as hard. That was why when she saw the headlights coming towards her, she simply moved to the side of the road and kept walking. For a small moment, she was confused enough not to question the fact that there would be another vehicle on the road. 

It turned around and rolled up alongside her. 

“Need a ride?” Andrea asked.

The blonde's voice was enough of a shock to make Lori stop along with the car. This couldn't get any better. She climbed in, and sat silently as they drove back. Andrea kept sneaking glances at her, and it was making Lori nervous.

“You ok?”

“Crashed the car.” Lori muttered, stretching her wrist. It was tender, but not broken.

“How the hell did you manage that?” Andrea asked. Lori didn't answer. “Well I'm glad you're ok. Rick came back.”

Lori still didn't answer. The blonde gave up. Despite her resentment towards Lori, she'd been worried. The commotion had been so great upon the other's return that no one noticed them coming back. Lori was thankful for that because she didn't want to explain to Maggie how she'd crashed her car. The walk then ride back had given her ample time to yell at herself for running off like a fool and leaving her son unattended. He was still asleep when she came back to the tent. 

She laid down, the scrapes still stinging and the sprain in her ankle throbbing. Lori didn't see the point in asking for help and embarrassing herself further. Her hands rested on her belly, above where she knew her unborn son or daughter was growing. Fear of miscarriage had crossed her mind, but she kept herself calm by remembering that one article she'd read once on the subject. While she'd been pregnant with Carl she'd been obsessed with it. It had been her first pregnancy, so she'd been afraid of so many things. She still was, but it was different now. 

Closing her eyes, she saw the walker she'd killed. She opened them again but she still saw it. There was no escaping anything, and all she could do was quietly cry over everything and let the tears sting the cuts on her face. 

**

Andrea's anger at Rick was as strong and as potent as anger could be. She was focused and furious. The stranger was a potential risk especially since his compatriots had tried to kill Rick and the other two men. She had no love lost for Merle either. Beyond how he'd behaved towards her and her sister, the way he'd acted towards T-Dog, Glenn, and Jacqui was enough to make it so she felt nothing but contempt for him. Not to mention, the fact that Rick hadn't even bothered to ask about Lori since coming back.

Glenn hadn't shared the fact that Merle had threated to harm him because of his friendship with Daryl, but Andrea could tell that he was afraid of what might happen now that the man was back. His sway over Daryl had been intense. That too made the blonde forget about her own heartbreak and try to make Rick realize that to welcome Merle back into the fold would be a mistake. 

So Andrea waited up by the fire for Rick to return to the tents. She figured it would be best to stay away from the house, at least for now. She wasn't officially banned like Shane was, but she doubted Maggie or her father would want her coming near. 

The wait left too much time for her to think of what she'd lost. No one could tell her she'd been wrong. If Beth had wanted to kill herself, it should've been her choice one way or another. Now at least she'd want to stay alive. Despite her righteous attitude, Andrea still felt laid low by guilt and sadness. She didn't regret interfering, but she regretted that she couldn't have made Maggie understand. 

She tried to comfort herself by telling herself that after being lied to about the barn and what it had held, the chances she'd had with the other women had been squashed anyway. Still hurt like a motherfucker. Every heartbeat was like a punch to the chest, leaving Andrea wishing she'd never taken up with Maggie in the first place, that they'd never come to the farm, and, deep down underneath it all, that Dale hadn't blackmailed her out of committing suicide. 

That misery was brushed aside when she saw Rick. Instead her anger returned. 

“What the hell were you thinking?” She rose and the former deputy looked at her with weary eyes.

“Andrea, what were we supposed to do? Leave him behind a second time?” 

The blonde had little sympathy for him. Since taking over a leadership position over the group, Rick had made some pretty terrible choices. Telling Sophia to run back towards the highway alone featured prominently, and now this. Allowing two men, both of whom were known to be dangerous onto the farm.

“Yes. Merle's a goddamn piece of shit. You only saw a fraction of his behavior on that rooftop. It was like that non-stop at the quarry before you showed up. Ask T-Dog. He'll tell you all about how Merle harassed and belittled him. You didn't hear the way he talked about the women in the camp. And you brought him back.” Andrea shook her head in disgust. “I hope you're ready for the consequences Rick.”

“We'll talk about this in the morning. Right now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go check on my family and sleep. Being shot at kinda takes a lot out of you.” He walked away from the blonde, too tired and too suspicious of the fact that she might be right to feel angry at her.


End file.
